and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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