Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i now understand why vodka
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
