I am spending my child support on dildos
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
