i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
