I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
