I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
