I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
