you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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