saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
