And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
