is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
