are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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