It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
