You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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