wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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