You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
