there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
