Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize