Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
