Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
