you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
