just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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