Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
