She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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