Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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