Acid is not a monday night drug
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
