I've blown a few things in my day
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
