Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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