If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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