Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
