party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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