He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
