Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize