Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize