I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
