Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
