I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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