No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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