she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You're like the curious george of whores
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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