his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
