we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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