I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
