I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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