im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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