i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
