so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
