My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
