Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
