Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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