I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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