she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize