He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
