Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
