Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
