all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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