highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
