Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
