saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
