look no pants
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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