i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
