I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
