Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
