the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
