You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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